Wonderland by Ouvrard Jude

Author:Ouvrard, Jude [Ouvrard, Jude]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2014-03-14T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4

Taking a Break

When you’re in love,

you want time.

Time to share, time to enjoy,

and time to love.

I want you to be my forever.

When I’m with you,

it doesn't matter if it's night or day.

You are my guide and

the oxygen that keeps me alive.

Your soul is a mine of gold.

I wish I could grow old with you

and spend many more happy times together.

Be your forever.

But I don't have forever.

I only have now.

The air was cold; I didn't feel the warmth as I usually did when I recited a poem in front of the classroom. By the end of the poem, I was already out of breath. It could be my last time standing there, so I figured it was worth the effort. My condition wasn’t getting better, and with each new day I became weaker.

I hadn’t told Preston how attached I had become to him, how deeply I felt about him. I didn't want him to suffer once I was gone; I wanted him to be happy. He deserved to be after everything he’d given me over the last few weeks.

Preston looked me straight in the eyes and mouthed the words: I love you.

My smile almost reached my eyes, but soon after, the effect of those three little words slapped me in the face. As much as I enjoyed the fact that he loved me, it hurt that he did. I’d never be able to thank him enough, and I’d never be able to spoil him and love him like he loved me. That feeling hurt more than anything. In that short period of time, I had fallen in love with Preston. I couldn't even control my emotions around him. Sadly, I thought we were meant to be together.

I hated the idea of leaving him, but I had to get over it, and I think he knew.

That night after class, I asked Preston to get a coffee with me. I was tired and feeling sick, but I needed to be with him. I didn't know how long I was going to be able to be with him outside my apartment, or worse, in the hospital. With every step I took, I felt the frailty in my legs, and with each breath, I felt the sting in my lungs.

That night I was in pain — not physically, but emotionally. I had realized that my days were about to expire — a reality check that I had to accept.

“Go sit, Lucas. I’ll order for you.” Preston placed his hand on my shoulder. “You want the usual caramel?”

I nodded, and sat on the closest chair available with a smile on my face. Preston never understood my love for caramel. I would add it to almost anything: coffee, dessert, toast, and pancakes — yeah, I was addicted to the sweet syrup. He returned with my mocha latte with extra caramel and a piece of vanilla and caramel cheesecake. Preston surprised me when he ordered the exact same thing for himself. Preston was more into berries; sweets were never his first choice.

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